KIWI MOMENT

This Kiwi moment belongs to Ethel:

  
She goes over to her brothers to let the dog out while he is away.  Doing a good deed.  Well that deed got her is quite a pickle.  Bobby, her brother has this contraption called an inversion machine. She knew what it was and how it worked, but never tried it. So she walks over to it, gives it the once over, and thinks, "I can do this."  Empties her pockets, money and cell phone on the table. Straps herself in, and flips upside down. This isn't so bad.  Her legs are pointing to Jesus.  Then the blood starts to rush to her head.  Ok, enough of this.  Time to get out, she tries to pull her weight up to right herself, BUT SHE CAN'T!  NOW WHAT!  There she hangs, OK let's try again. No luck!  After several attempts panic starts to set in.  
"OMG, what am I  going to do?"  She looks at her watch and realizes it's been half and hour of hanging upside down.  Know wonder her head feels like its going to explode. No matter how hard she tries she can not pull herself up.  Her feet are numb and cold. She has no choice, it's either die hanging here or call someone and humiliate herself to come and help her.  She reaches for her phone. 

 IT"S ON THE TABLE!  JUUUUUST OUT OF REACH.  Oh if she can just stretch a little bit more she can get it.  Starting to hyperventilate!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?  Well Ethel realizes she's all alone, except for Ginger the dog,  and has to get herself out of this mess.  Let's give it one more try.  Straining with every ounce of her being, she slowly pulls herself up.  "I'm almost there, oh please, please!"  I MADE IT!  Doesn't waste anytime unbuckling her feet.  Stands up and has the worst headache know to man.  Grabs her phone, that was of no use to her, and stamps out slamming the door behind her.  I think it took the rest of the day for the blood to get back to the rest of her body.